God is just

On January 6, 2021, the entire world watched as a mob of white Trump supporters overtook the U.S. Capitol. 

As a black person living in American, I can say that I was not shocked. 

Well, my initial reaction was shock, but after about 20 minutes, the shock subsided and I became overwhelmed with disgust. 

I felt anger, disgust, hurt, and disdain towards a nation that continues to fail at calling out this country for what it is. A racist breeding ground of injustice. We are not one nation under God. We are broken. The foundation of this country was never built on being holy and just.

Instead of hearing these truths, I heard and read things like, “this isn’t us”, “this is shocking”, “ I can’t believe this is happening”. 

Well, black people knew. 

After watching the leader of our country openly classify white supremacist as “very fine people”, among a long list of other despicable actions and comments , we knew something like this was bound to happen. 

It happened and black people are not surprised. 

A mob of white fragility looted the U.S. Capitol and had an entire photo-op. They trashed the offices of members of Congress and LIVED to tell about it.

See, to black people, that’s the crazy part. They walked out through the front door! Without guns being drawn at them and without being arrested.

Would I like to see a mob of white people killed on my television screen? No. 

But tased, maced, dropped kicked to the ground, some common-sense slapped into them, arrested and thrown into jail, is what I would have expected to see in this “fair” country my fellow white citizens like to scream about. You know, the stuff done to black people for simply walking down the street and for not “complying”. That law and order stuff the president has been babbling on about for the past 4 years.  But none of that happened. 

We have been hearing about police reform and more police training for the past 7 months or so. But yesterday proved that training isn’t the problem. Black people would simply like to be treated with the same tact and consideration that those white people breaking and sliding through windows at the capitol were treated with. It’s as simple as that.

Over the summer, I watched white people lose their shit over the looting and destruction of a Target and witnessed armed guards protect a Starbucks due to the BLM protest. 

I believe in peaceful protest and I do not agree with the destruction of private property and businesses. And although I am not a part of the BLM movement, I understand the cause. I witnessed people being run over, kicked, shot, maced, and hundreds arrested. I also witnessed journalist and members of the media arrested and assaulted by police. And to be clear, the BLM protesters were protesting the killings of unarmed black people. Not trying to overthrow a government because their egos have been bruised.

Fast forward to yesterday. Thugs posted selfies of themselves destroying the nation’s capitol. And to add insult to injury, we are in the middle of a pandemic, and no one was wearing a mask. I mean, my god!

But hey, who cares! Their leader lost in a free and fair election. To hell with the law and local mandates!! This is a free country, right? Do what you want!!  Disclaimer :unless your skin tone is a few shades darker than tan, in this instance you might be shot.

The hypocrisy is deafening. 

These terrorist had pipe bombs, hanging gallows, and guns. Yet, walked away to see another day. Free.

As black people, to continue to watch this kind of injustice year after year, is traumatizing. Not only do we continue to wrestle with a painful history of violence that is swept in the corner with nasty “get over it” comments, we face inequality when it comes to housing, jobs, education and equal pay. We now watch police murder black people on camera for sport. Furthermore, they get off without judgement.

It’s all very painful. 

It is a reminder that this country is not for us. It is a reminder that we are not valued and that moving forward in unity is a smoke and mirror farfetched reality. The longer this country goes down the path of ignorance and questioning things that are apparently clear, black people continue to collect more proof of things that we’ve already known.

Proof that does nothing to improve our existence, but rather causes a hopelessness that is detrimental to our overall health. 

As some white people call for unity, black people are calling for accountability.

It was fascinating to watch the various responses of white people during and after this attack. Some just went on about their day in denial and/or embarrassment, while others expressed shock as if their relatives did not vote and support the unhinged individual leading this mob. As if they hadn’t quietly supported him themselves. They are all complicit in this act of violence towards this nation.

The individuals who remain quiet about what happened, are quiet because they dare not risk damaging the white privilege that they get to hide behind. They dare not speak up against a country that favors their skin color.

Rationally, I get it. But like all black people, I can’t relate.

This is a white privilege accountability problem. A heart matter.

Black people have done more than their part. We are tired. 

These actions are not of God or anything like the Messiah. My hope remains in the fact that the God I serve is just, and that will have to be enough.

I think of Colossians 3:25 that says, “But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.”

My hope is that when judgement comes, and if it is during my lifetime, prayerfully, I will be somewhere drinking my coffee, minding my black business. Knowing that all is well, with my soul. I pray you can say the same. #heartcheck

Jessica Brown